SO DO YOU HAVE A BACK UP PLAN?

For the third time in two weeks by three different people, I was asked what my back up plan was, you  know, in case this whole Panama thing doesn't work out.  In case it doesn't turn out how I think it should turn out.  In case it isn't what I expect it to be.  And for the first time in my forty-eight years of life, or at least since I can remember, I do not have a Plan B.

When another dental hygienist asked me this question, I asked what she meant and she said "in case you don't like it".  I told her I would give it a few years to try, move to different places maybe to try different areas, and then she asked if I had given thought to where I would move if I moved out of  Panama (say, Charleston in South Carolina).  I gave that some thought (I do love that city) and then remembered Hurricane Hugo, 1989.  I worked with a woman whose son lived on the water.  Boats were piled up in his front yard.  I thought of the expensive city with the large beautiful homes on the water.  Nope, I can't say Charleston would be where I would settle next if I had a Plan B.

Looks like just the place I would want to settle down along the eastern coast of the US.  Maybe not.

A little wreckage from Hugo.

We could live here in retirement.

The next person that asked me if I had a backup plan happened to be my boss this time.  After telling him he was the second person to ask me this in a week now and that I appreciated his concern, I told him no Plan B for me.  I told him and another dental hygienist that had been talking to me about buying cars in Panama a few minutes prior (and I rattled off all of the car dealerships I had walked by in Panama City along Calle 50) that I had to give Panama a chance, right?  Three to five years of a chance.  And after renting a house in one area for a while, perhaps I will then put my boots to the ground (with Ray, of course) and rent a house in another part of the country.  Only if we decide we don't really love the first place will we feel the need to pick up and move around;  otherwise, I will just travel and tour other areas or take road trips. And in that conversation, my big winnings of $40 came up at the casino.  I was then told that once I retire I couldn't be spending money in a casino.  Really?  No more penny slots?  Oh dear, I hadn't put that into my Plan A of "retiring to Panama and spending $10 in a casino every so often" plan.

The final person that asked me about a Plan B was a patient of mine.  I have been seeing this patient for many years in this office, and when I told her about my other conversations about this supposed Plan B and my lack of having one, we just laughed.  That felt good.  This patient has known me long enough to know that while I might not have a Plan B, I am not crazy enough (I still have a bunch of vanilla in me) to stay in a place that I don't love, a place that I am not comfortable in or a place that isn't working for me and Ray.  I will pick up my boots and now that I have given a little thought to "what if", I am thinking a small, town in New Mexico perhaps.  Of course, I will spend two plus years researching it all if I ever get to that point.  That part will never change.  Maybe this is why I don't have a Plan B--too consuming.  I have enough to do with getting ready for take off to Panama.

But now I start to think maybe Panama is my Plan B.  Plan A is what I have been doing all along-- working until that retirement age of whatever someone told me was the age (55, 60, 65?), moving to Northern Virginia so the commute wouldn't kill Ray, changing jobs possibly because I would now have a commute, watching my daughter get settled in Virginia perhaps (or when she marries, I would watch her move away and start her own new plan), traveling to visit grandchildren but doing so around the vacation time I was allotted waiting for retirement, playing at the lake house and visiting my sister, friends, and my parents along with Ray's parents (this again would be factored into having vacation time) and Plan A, by the way, would also include my parents still being alive through all of this--this is how Plan A would be if it were to have all worked out the "right" way.  My parents would still be here in my Plan A.

Me along with a super healthy mom, and dad not so great (but so amazing he made it to this event).

Looking back at this blog, I remember writing something similar about our plans.  Our future.  So I did some research into my own blog.  Here is what I wrote in my post "HOW MUCH DO YOU REALLY NEED?" May 10, 2012 (just about two years ago):

I am too excited and curious not to see if Plan B (retiring early to Panama) is the way to go here.  

So in May of 2012, I was on track to start Plan B.  Somewhere I had forgotten this new plan of mine.  
And don't get me wrong, having plans is a good thing.  It's never giving up.  It's being tenacious.  It's always being on the lookout and making sure things are "going according to plan".  And if not, there can always be a Plan C, I suppose.  But for now, I am loving this whole Panama being my Plan B.  It just took writing this post to figure this out!  Now I can once again rest and relax at the lake house.  All is right with my world again.  Because now I know no one is going to ask me if I have a Plan C.  Everyone is too busy watching how I will do with the changes in my plan, whatever letter it is.

Here is the small town in New Mexico I found (Silver City, New Mexico--population 10,000)

Main Street, perhaps

Looks small.

No thanks!